Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
