All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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