I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
