I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
