Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
