just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
