shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
