talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
