he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
