Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
