Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
