I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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