These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
