I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize