She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize