He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
