i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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