I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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