you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
