She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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