I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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