I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
