you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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