is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize