He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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