??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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