idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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