So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
