No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My dick has a subreddit
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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