Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
