Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
