i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
