apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
