The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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