put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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