Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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