i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
