We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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