this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
