He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
