Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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