he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
