just come out here and I will go home with you...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
