I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
