FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
