I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ๐๐
You canโt homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize