I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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