just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she peed on how many people?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
