how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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