Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
