If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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