were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
