Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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