So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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