the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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