I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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