you would pick up someone in the library
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
