I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
