He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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