Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
