why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
