Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's Friday. Sex?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
